Cheerleader Halloween Costume

Make Your Own Sexy Halloween Costume

If you want a sexy costume to wear for Halloween, you are in luck! You can actually create your own with a little time and a little creativity. Creating a sexy costume could be as easy as wearing a bombshell dress, or as complicated as following a pattern to build your own unique costume.

Here are some easy costume ideas that you can make on your own:

Angel- White dress, white heels, white pantyhose and some makeshift wings using wire and sheer fabric

Stripper/Exotic Dancer- Extremely high heels, a tight, short dress and props if you have any

Naughty School Girl- Plain white, buttoned down shirt to show your cleavage, short plaid skirt, black shoes with ankle socks; carry a lollipop

Sexy Secretary- Form fitting skirt suit without a blouse underneath, thigh highs with a garter showing, pair of glasses, pencil and a legal pad

Naughty Nurse- White pencil skirt and a fitted white shirt belted, white heels, white pantyhose, stethoscope, rubber gloves, hair pulled loosely back

Dirty Cop- Navy pencil skirt with a lighter blue button up shirt opened to the point where your cleavage is showing, thigh high stockings, handcuffs and a badge. You could finish off your look with some sexy, bomber sunglasses.

Devil- Anything black or red outfit that is fitted, face make up, horns and a tail pinned on and you are ready to go…spice up this outfit with fake red eyelashes, other makeup accents and red glitter.

Playboy Bunny- A fitted white or pink leotard and stockings, a cotton ball tail pinned on, bunny ears….you can have fun with this outfit, but those are the basic essentials!!

Sexy Vampire- To create a sexy vampire outfit, the most important prop you will need is a set of vampire teeth, which you can pick up for just a few dollars at virtually any costume store. Goth clothing works perfectly for this type of costume. Or, if you want to sex the outfit up a few notches, wear a tight, short black dress and add the teeth. You can add some lace to the outfit and add a feather duster for added effect.

Sexy French Maid- For this, you need a white tank top, short black skirt and a white apron.

Pageant Queen- If you have a knock out formal gown lying around, you can easily be a pageant queen winner. All you need to create this costume is a tiara and a sash. You can either buy the sash at a costume store, or if you can sew, you can make it yourself. If you want to be super sexy, wear a bikini with the sash as if you were competing in the swimsuit portion of the competition.

Many of these sexy Halloween costumes can be created on your own on a shoestring budget. Have fun with what you are creating, and ensure that you add props and make up to complete the look.

Frequently Asked Questions

QUESTION:
How to make your own Playboy bunny outfit?
Hi I am 19 and excited to go to my first halloween costume party yay for me haha
sooooo anyway, I have always wanted to go as a playboy bunny but I’m not sure what to wear …
I get the ears, tail, cuffs and bow tie … but I am wondering what else i should wear. I have a black leotard that I was thinking of wearing with fishnets (or do you think knee-high stockings would look better?) and heels, perhaps with shorts over?
Any ideas of what I could wear, or even any other sort of sexy costume ideas would be greatly appreciated
Also, where can I find a bow tie that isn’t too expensive? or can anyone advise me on how to make one?

Thanks
- ANSWER:
  no clue but would love to see the result.
QUESTION:
How do you make your own bloomers?
I’d like to buy a sexy Halloween rag doll costume but it’s a bit too short for my taste. I thought some nice mid thigh bloomers would be perfect underneath but no one seems to sell them (for reasonable prices anyway). They seem simple enough to make… does anyone know how to make them? They could be elastic or drawstring, but I don’t know anything about sewing. Any tips would be great!! My measurements are 29″ waist and 38″ hips and each thigh is about 19″ where I want it to gather. I’d also like a bit of a ruffle on the bottom after the gathering. How is that done? Thanks so much for any help!
- ANSWER:
  
  heres a youtube tutorial. hope this helps
QUESTION:
This isnt a question but its halloween costume ides.?
Yea sure I love to help people.
:]
And sorry that my e-mail didnt work I must have typed it wrong.
I might not be able to list them all so at the end I will give you some
links.
But here’s some more anyway.
-A pixie dust fairy(buy)

-A cheerleader(buy or homemade)
*If your a cheerleader already use that.
*The biggest problem with this is the fact that miniskirts and tanktops
arn’t good for a cold night but now they have long sleeve shirts and
skirts with leggings or something over it.
*Or just get a plain longsleeve shirt and paint a fake school name on
there.
*Look on the internet for Ideas on how to do so.
*Don’t use your schools really name if your going trick or treating
because all the crime.

-Any kind of bug or animal(buy)
*It’s kind of kiddish but you can make it a better preteen looking cat
or something creative.

-A movie star(buy or homemade)
*You can get a cute little short dress, some star shades, and cute
accessories and look super pretty.
*Don’t forget the pretty dramatic make-up.
*Fake eyelashes are great too.
*Also a big purse is a great candy bag.

-A mermaid(buy or homemade)
*The ones you buy may look childish so you can make them better but
fixing them up at home.
*Find most of these buy costumes at any halloween store in the older
kids section and that where you can find the more mature version.

-An angel or devil(buy or homemade)
*You can find really cute ones at any store or you can get a cute white
dress for the angel and get some long yellow pipe cleaners for the
halo.
*This woulld be the cheaper way.
*Same for devil but get a red dress with fire or something on it.
*Some horns and a tail.

-A school girl witch(buy)
*You can get these at party city or wherever.

-Little red riding hood(buy or homemade)
*Get a red cape with hood and a red dress, a basket with fake food from
walmart or something, and pretty red glitter ,really cute.
*Also you can use the basket for candy.

-A singer/diva(buy or hamemade)
*Get shiny silver or gold pants and a matching top put some of that
fuzzy pink stuff(you can get at craft stores) some sequins, and lots of
glitter.
* A microphone or headset.
*Put your hair up in a pretty,funky updo.

-A Punk fairy(buy)

-A genie(buy)If I havent already said that.

-A girl chef(buy or homemade)
*Get a chefs hat and outfit and make it super cute with accessories
from a local craft store.

-A vampire bride(buy)
*Make it your own if you want it to look like you.

-A 50′s car hop girl(buy)

-A cowgirl(buy or homemade)
*You can go to a store that sells girl cowboy clothes and get
everything in a cute pink, like boots, a hat, Sparkly pants, a cute vest or
shirt, and a rope purse.

-A young Chinese girl(buy)

-A punky maid(buy)

-A magician assistant(buy or homemade)
*Get a cute magician hat, black pants or skirt, and some flowers.
*Also your friend could be the magician.

-A glamorous rich person(buy or homemade)
*Long sparkling dress that overlaps.
*Fake gold or silver jewelry with fake diamonds or gems.
*A cute side purse.
*Make your hair curly and volumized and hairspray to the max.

-A Miss Muppet costume(buy)

-A different person(buy and homemade)
*Just get a wig, a crazy outfit and be someone else for the night.

-A school girl(buy or homemade)
*Get a school uniform from the store and make yourself look sweet.
*Basically same as the nerd but minus the glasses and nerdy stuff make
it a sexier school girl costume.
*Like a plaid skirt and vest like he other one but with a shorter skirt
and better colors like pink.

-A Indian girl(buy or homemade)
*Get a tan long one sleeve dress that wraps around and a matching tan
bandana around your forehead with feathers and beads.
:]

Okay i thinks thats a little over whelming to read so heres the link.
Most of them I thought of myself but heres some more:

http://anniescostumes.com/index.htm

http://www.anytimecostumes.com/

http://www.halloweenexpress.com/?gclid=CIGTg53DjI8CFREDWAodgD8BfQ

http://www.costumesupercenter.com/

Good luck finding a costume.
Tell me what you decide to be and have a great time!
Happy Halloween!
- ANSWER:
  Wow! Great tips! Thanks so much for the tips! It is so generous of you to take your time to post this and we all greatly appreciate it! I was looking for a costume idea, and you helped me find one! Thanks so much! ♥
QUESTION:
my parents wont let me wear this costume for halloween because they say its too “slutty” and “whorish”.

http://www.spirithalloween.com/adults_womens-costumes_womens-sexy-costumes-by-playboy/sexy-scholar-adult-costume-by-playboy/

they say its too short. i TOTALLY see where they are coming from, 100%.

but i just think its a really cute costume and you cant really find other schoolgirl costumes that dont make you wear those ugly plaid shorts or dont show your belly.

i like the costume alot, and i even told them that i would wear white tights underneath it.

they also said that it is too permiscuous. (spelling) but i would be with all of my friends so nothing bad would happen./

i dont think its fair that even LAST year all of my friends got to wear all this stuff that i wasnt even trying to wear on halloween until this year.

i just dont think its fair. im in 10th grade and i am almost sixteen… in my opinion i think that i can make my own choices on what i wear on halloween. its not like im going to be like that every day.
maybe i should just wear my regular clothes carrying a sign that says “my other costume was too slutty for my parents’ eyes, so i decided to wear this as my costume instead.”
- ANSWER:
  In all sincerity,could it be that they don’t have confidence in you??… Maybe they love you and feel that you don’t respect yourself,evidenced by the disrespect you display for the English language and it’s use..plus the fact that you use the diminutive “i” of the PERSONAL PRONOUN “I” by which you are demeaning yourself,as you will do by wearing the clothes you describe..
QUESTION:
What’s your costume for Halloween? What’s great about it? What’s not so great? And what kind of night do you?
I’m going as Rosie the Riveter. I chose it because I think it fits the political theme of the moment of a country that needs to come together around a common purpose. Also it was something I could put together on my own cheaply and still look good.

What is it: A red bandana tied backward on my head, my sexiest, skinniest, low riding blue jeans, a tight, tight ‘wife beater’ shirt with a blue gas station shirt tied at my belly but otherwise unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up to my shoulders.

What’s great about it: It is surprisingly sexy without looking like I am going all out for the full sluttoween look.

What’s not so great: Shoes. It’s really hard to work any kind of sexy shoes into the outfit. I think I’ll end up wearing someone’s Timberlands or something. Oh well, at least I won’t get my toes crushed.

What kind of night am I looking for: Fun, wild! I’m definitely interested in flirting and making out with someone new! If every thing goes right, I wouldn’t hate it if my costume ended up balled up on someone else’s floor in the morning!

Ok, your turn.
- ANSWER:
  Im going as a witch in to town tonight with the girlies, ive got a black dress with black netting, black lace gloves and a black hat. Might add some fishnets for effect
  
  Tomorrow im going to a party as Morticia Addams and my Fella is going as Gomez. Its our first Halloween together so decided to do the couple thing. Gotta spray my hair jet black and do some dramatic eye make up
  
  Cant Wait
  
  Happy Halloween
QUESTION:
What can I dress up as for Halloween? Please help?
I was thinking something along these lines: http://www.partycity.com/product/costumes+%26+accessories/teen+girls/see+all/harajuku+girl+costume+girl.do?sortby=bestSellers#

What do you think?

Any female non-sexy Halloween clothing is really acceptable,, you can even make your own outfit at www.polyvore.com

Please please please give me links to pictures of outfits/costumes that I could work with to make an original style! Thanks! xx
- ANSWER:
  Thats really cute go for it gurl!
  here are some other ideas mainly makeup
  lady gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFMaLuI1uxc
  tinkerbell http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKAUNjbCnoE
QUESTION:
Would this be Considered “Choose Your Own Adventure?”?
Hi,

Before the season started, I made a bet w/ my friend Mindy (Rays fan) that the Mariners would make the playoffs & the Rays wouldn’t. It seemed safe at the time, but I lost badly.

We both get really into Halloween, so the winner gets to pick the loser’s Halloween costume. Mindy is hot, so I thought I could pick out something skimpy for her–she turned the tables. She said I have to be a sexy woman for Halloween weekend.

She said I have to post to an open forum, asking the online community what to wear. She picks the winner from everyone who posts. Keep in mind I am 5’8″ish and 138lbs.
I have to do the whole shebang…shave my legs, etc. (I don’t even want to know what etc. is )

Be creative & detailed in your responses!
- ANSWER:
  You should dress up as Lum.
  
  See here:
  
  http://souka-kaikan.cocolog-nifty.com/blog/files/lum2.gif
  
  Go get’em tiger!
QUESTION:
HAllOWEEN COStUME iDEAS HElP?
Okay well halloweens soon as we all know? well i need a costume idea something a little sexy but yet a little classy i was thinking a cute punk princess are sexy vampire ? are brittanya o campo from rock of love and charm school hmm but i dont know please help i kinda want to make my own like give me some ideas and what i would need to get? please no haters you know those stupid bxtchs that go your dumb lol but thank you very much :]
- ANSWER:
  jessica rabbit idk
QUESTION:
Does anyone know how to make the sexiest PlayBoy Bunny homemade? ?
I need to have a VERY sexy PlayBoy Bunny costume for Halloween, but I was wondering if anyone knew how to use stuff from your own closet or some inexpensive things to buy at the store. THANKS- xoxo
- ANSWER:
  -black leotard (or bootie shorts + top)
  -bunnie ears
  -black or hot pink high heels
  -maybe a “playboy bunny” necklace or something if you have one
  -and a lot of volume in your hair!
QUESTION:
Anyone ready to retire? if so here’s your choices, LOL?
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where……

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can retire to California where…
1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone ask s you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can retire to New York City where…
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ….
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. ( Ed note: if you have a car)

You can retire to Maine where…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can retire to the Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out yonder.” It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can retire to Colorado where…
1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car .
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can retire to the Midwest where…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can retire to Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  thanks but cant afford to move…
QUESTION:
Halloween Help…please?
When halloween comes around i have so much to do. Parties, Baking, Candy. EVERYTHING! My favorite part is the costume. I usually make my own and make it funny. But now that i’m in high school, I want something cute/sexy.

I want something cute (no showing you stomach. Cover your bra straps, 4 in. above the knee limit). I wanted to be something like this> http://www.google.com/products?q=Leopard+print+dress&hl=en&show=dd I have a week to find something like this or make it.

Questions:
1. What other ideas do you have for me costume wise? (pix are much appriciated)
2. Where can i get this in less than a week for a good price?
3. Can i make this costume? How?

Thanks a bunch!
Sorry wrong URL.. Here’s the real one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.littleredridinghoodcostume.net/pics/little_red_riding_teenLC.jpg
- ANSWER:
  
  http://www.partycity.com/costumes.shtml
QUESTION:
i want to talk to a real vamp!!!!!!!!!!! Ppl who talked to 1 “only!”?
on halloween night i was hoping that i could talk to 1 @ a friend’s house. i’m making my own costume it’s gonna be sexy and so im called Sexiest Vamp…, anyway i was thinking that maybe i can meet 1 by asking if they live in St. Cloud or near. But i have to be careful wat the vamp(s) say and me. and yes i know that some can be dangerous (i’ve been studying). i always wanted to know what’s it like and etc…(but if your a person that tells people they don’t exist, you gotta another thing coming cause they do. how would you even know that they don’t?… you got to prove it!) but anyway do you think i should or just give me advice. I luv vampires and i always will. i just wanna hang out with 1 and talk
- ANSWER:
  the only vampires youll come across are goth kids who read too much anne rice
  
  but its fun to dress up and pretend i guess
QUESTION:
How is this part of my story?
Savannah and Carter sat at the kitchen table carving a face into their huge pumpkin. A knife curved it’s way up through the surface, cutting out the shape of a mouth. Carter grinned as Savannah pulled out hunks of orange goo out of the pumpkin. It felt slimy and grimy against her hands, so she walked over to the seat to wash it off. While she was doing so, he was checking out her body. His lips curled into a devious grin as she bent down, but when she turned around, he turned back to his pumpkin.
“Jacky’s gonna look really cute.” she said, patting the pumpkin. “Right, Jacky?”
It was funny because Reese always named her pumpkins. He thought Savannah was so cute cooing at the pumpkin even though it was just an inanimate object.

Carter helped her carve the eyes into the pumpkin, sneaking kisses on her face. He tried to make sure he didn’t cut her with the knife. But at times he would play like he was stabbing at her neck. The doorbell rang and Carter went to get it. Three little girls in identical bumble bee costumes beamed at him.
“Trick-or-treat!” they said in unison, holding out their bags.
He smiled as he passed out handfuls of candy to each of the girls.
“Thank you!” they said, frolicking along his front yard.

“Aww…their so cute!” crooned Savannah, taking a handful of fried pumpkin seeds and popping them into her mouth.
Carter’s mother used to make friend pumpkin seeds every Halloween. She stopped when he was in the sixth grade. When Carter told Savannah about it, she had her own mom make pumpkin seeds for them. Fried pumpkin seeds were the best. The salty taste on his tongue when it his taste buds. The way it melted when it went down his throat. Halloween was his second favorite holiday.
There was another knock on the door, assuming it was some more trick-or-treaters, Carter fetched his bowl full of candy. At the door, Andy, Holly, Reese, Elisha, and Palma stood there.
“Trick-or-treat!” they joked, making their way into his house.
They were all spending the night at his house for Halloween night. Since Savannah’s mother was overprotective, Savannah lied to her mother and told her she was staying at Judy Detillo’s place. She hadn’t even told her mother she had a boyfriend, yet. She was waiting for the right time.
Andy fell onto his Italian leather couch, stretching his feet onto the glass table. Reese sat next to him, knocking his feet off of the table.
“Pansy.” she snarked, taking the remote off of the table.
“Turn it on to AMC.” commanded Savannah. “They play horror movies all day long in October.”
Reese flicked to the channel where a Jason Voorhees appeared on the screen.
“Look, Palma.” laughed Savannah. “There goes your cousin!”
“Ha-ha.” she said sarcastically, nudging her on the shoulders.
“We’re gonna rent a movie later tonight, right?” asked Andy.
“Yeah, we’re stopping by Hollywood Video after Stephanie’s party.” said Savannah, taking a sip from her glass of Grape Soda.

Carter pulled her off of the couch, placing her onto his lap. He pulled a throw blanket off of the couch, engulfing both of them with it. They both thought about the time they spent at the pumpkin patch. The day was beautiful and peaceful. Autumn was now Savannah’s favorite month because it will always remind her of that day at the pumpkin patch. Carter smiled and told her he thought the same thing.
“Do you have anything to drink?” asked Elisha, walking around the living room.
“Yeah, just look in the fridge.” he said, stroking Savannah’s hair.
Holly was already in her Halloween costume. She was dresses in a black leotard with cat ears on her head. Reese was in her referee costume, Elisha was dressed as a sexy alien, and Palma was dressed as Pippi Longstocking.

“Where’s your Halloween costume?” Palma asked Savannah.
“I’ll put it on soon.” she answered, focusing her eyes onto the television set.
“What are you?” asked Carter.
“A hybrid of a butterfly and a angel.”
Palma giggled. “That sounds far out!”
“That’s the point.”
When Carter finally got to see her in her costume, he thought she looked beautiful. She had on a golden dress similar to Elisha’s, a golden halo was attached to the back of her dress, her facial makeup consisted if blue, green, and purple glitter and a drawing of a butterfly on the side of her face, and her wings were golden that completed the look.
“Wow, you look pretty.” he said, looking at her up and down.
“Thank you.” she said, modeling her costume for her friends.
“Every girl is going to be hating on you.” gushed Elisha, playing with Savannah’s wings.
“Yeah, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you.” joked Reese.
- ANSWER:
  complicate the sentence structure a little.
QUESTION:
Where To Live After Retirement (this is for old farts only)?
As we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate.
The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where…..

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…

1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You can Live in New York City where…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature,”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin’ ” is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where…

1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds
- ANSWER:
  OK I’m not an old fart yet just like your jokes, but I have been all around the country because the ex was in the military…….and my gosh you are so right. I call it Africa hot not ARE YOU KIDDING Me but same diff. And in Louyanna….yeck….it was so humid that when you got out of the shower you had to dry off 5 mins after you dried off. Thanks for the memories. BTB I was born raised and bred in California and love it. Will never leave again, but you hit the nail on the head.
QUESTION:
Where to Live After Retirement:?
You can live in Phoenix Arizona where: 1.You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade2.You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl 3.You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town 4.You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food 5.You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door 6.The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
You can Live in California where: 1.You make over 0,000 and you still cant afford to buy a house 2.The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway 3.You know how to eat an artichoke 4.You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party 5.When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is 6.The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
You can Live in New York City where 1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan 2.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but cant find Wisconsin on a ma 3.You think Central Park is “nature.”4.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual 5.You’ve worn out a car horn 6.You think eye contact is an act of aggression
You can Live in Maine where:1.You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas 3.You have more than one recipe for moose 4.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons 5.The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where:1.You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store 2 “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural 3.”He needed killin’” is a valid defense 4.Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob Jimmy Bob,Mary Sue,Betty Jean,MARY BETH,etc.
You can live in Colorado where:1.You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car 2.You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center3. A pass does not involve a football or dating 4.The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where: 1:You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor 3You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day 4.You end sentences with a preposition:”Where’s my coat at?”5.When asked how your trip was to any exotic place you say,”It was different!”
AND You can live in Florida where:1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon 2.All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars 3.Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist 4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state 5.Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  i live in florida and it was all true. especially the traffic.
QUESTION:
You Live In…? JUST A JOKE!?
You live in California when …

1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in New York when…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is “nature.”
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You’ve worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You live in Alaska when . . .

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You live in the Deep South when . . .

1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. “Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are ya?”
4. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.

You live in Colorado when . . .

1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.

You live in the Midwest when . . .

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different! ”

You live in Florida when…

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  You Live In A Small Town In The Midwest When…
  
  you stop at a store and you find a car idling with the windows rolled down and the doors unlocked.
  
  you use words like “doncha” “ain’tcha” “woncha” “a’orta” (they ought to) “ain’t” and “hillbillies”
  
  you see people driving their John Deeres around town
  
  your first date with your boyfriend is the topic of dinner conversation… at your brothers best friends house the very next day
  
  the teachers tell you that you’d better talk quieter about the party last night because they’re mandated reporters
  
  someone comes up behind you when you’re talking in a group and shouts “WE’RE GONNA GET YOU WASTED TONIGHT”, and the teacher says “you kids have fun”
  
  your 16-year-old friend tells you about how she got wasted in a bar that doesnt check ID with a student teacher
  
  your friends get 12 hours of sleep between monday and saturday due to all the partying, and then sleep all sunday.
  
  your mom finds out that someone overdosed on X before you do
  
  you know what pajama pants a quarter of your high school wears, because half the time they’re still wearing them.
  
  you ask someone what they did on friday night, and they’ll either tell you, “man, i got wasted” “huntin” or “my parents wont let me go anywhere”
  
  you can get a pocketknife from almost everyone
  
  everyone knows the drug dealers
  
  nobody rats on the drug dealers
  
  everyone knows the users
  
  anyone who rats on the users will get beaten, or cast off, or both
  
  there are more meth/pot/gay jokes than your mom jokes
  
  when someone passes out form too much drinking, people just laugh and turn them on their sides
  
  someone drunkenly totals a car almost every weekend
  
  you know someone who’s ability to drive a stick shift is on drug recall
  
  you know someone who drives better sober
  
  you know more regular users than you do sober people
  
  most of the smart kids are potheads
  
  AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN A SMALL MIDWESTERN TOWN
  
  the only fall topic of conversation among over half the school is “huntin”
QUESTION:
You Live In…? just a JOKE ?
You live in California when …

1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in New York when…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is “nature.”
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You’ve worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You live in Alaska when . . .

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You live in the Deep South when . . .

1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. “Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are ya?”
4. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.

You live in Colorado when . . .

1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.

You live in the Midwest when . . .

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different! ”

You live in Florida when…

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  lolol i ive in california, the bay area. and yes the fastest commute is downt the drive way for most people!! artichokes are very tasty =)
  
  and yes it is waayyy to expensive to live here! let alone move out. im 19 and still live with my mom. most poeple are in their 20′s who go to school still live with their parents since rent is 00+ a months for a 1 to 2 bedroom apartment! thats just ridiculous!
  
  funny though =)
QUESTION:
Where’s the best place to retire?
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where…..
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that ‘dry heat’ is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…
1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where…
1. You say ‘the city’ and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is ‘nature.’
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. ‘Y’all’ is singular and ‘all y’all’ is plural.
3. ‘He needed killin” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either ‘in yonder,’ ‘over yonder’ or ‘out yonder.’ It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can live in Colorado where…
1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: ‘Where’s my coat at?’
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, ‘It was different!’

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  I like to put on my smoking jacket and retire to the Billiard Room for Brandy and Cigars!
QUESTION:
Joke for you. I live in the Deep South. Where do you live?
You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where…..
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that dry heat is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…
1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where…
1. You say the city and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is nature.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2 Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. Y’all is singular and all y’all is plural.
3. He needed killin’ is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either in yonder, over yonder or out yonder. It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can live in Colorado where…
1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from heat to A/C on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: Where’s my coat at?
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, It was different!

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  I won’t pick any of those because I already have place to live, Shallow North.
QUESTION:
Joke for you. I live in the Deep South. Where do you live?
You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where…..
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…
1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where…
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2 Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out yonder.” It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can live in Colorado where…
1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at? ”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  Well sexy you forgot one thing about us Californians…we are Damn Sexy……
QUESTION:
Joke for you. I live in the Deep South. Where do you live?
You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where…..
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that dry heat is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…
1. You make over 0,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where…
1. You say the city and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is nature.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2 Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. Y’all is singular and all y’all is plural.
3. He needed killin’ is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either in yonder, over yonder or out yonder. It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can live in Colorado where…
1. You carry your ,000 mountain bike atop your 0 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from heat to A/C on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: Where’s my coat at?
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, It was different!

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
- ANSWER:
  I live in Indiana and the only one that applies, is switching the A/C to heat in the same day. Its been that way lately. I’ve never met the Mayor. I live in a big city. Tractors don’t drive through the city, and are not allowed on the interstate. Traffic jams, are waiting in construction lines and when everybody and their mother is trying to get into downtown to work at the same time. I learned grammar in elementary school. I have never travel anywhere exotic because I can’t afford it, but know several adjectives, I could use to describe it.